I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
