I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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