obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
