why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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