We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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