hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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