i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
