Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
