Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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