so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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