I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize