Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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