The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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