i just had sex bonerless
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
