Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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