Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
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i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
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We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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