i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
