Christians are straight up FREAKS
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think your dad took our porno
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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