Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
