She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
