I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
