Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
