only if we run a train.
done.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
