yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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