Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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