im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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