you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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