I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I want is dick and wine.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
