I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
