Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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