Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize