question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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