Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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