i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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