I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
