last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
