Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
