Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
