He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
