Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
