jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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