worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
