I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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