its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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