im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
