I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
