There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
