How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
