Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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