sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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