nut hugger
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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