So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
